Five Years
by TheVegetaFiles
Summary: After graduation, Kirishima cut Bakugou off for reasons unknown. Now, as they meet again, will Kirishima admit why five years have passed without a word?
1. Chapter 1

Kirishima sat slumped against a faded brown couch in the center of an 800 square foot apartment. Although he had a roommate, he was currently alone, flipping aimlessly through channels on their small television. It wasn't a fancy place. There were two small bedrooms, a living room, and a small kitchen area with a couple of bar stools against one of the counters. Working your way up in the pro hero world wasn't always glamorous, he had found out,

It had been five years since Kirishima's high school graduation from the prestigious U.A. Academy. He had spent the last several years working as a sidekick next to a pro whose quirk made for weak defenses; that's where Kirishima came in. It wasn't until recently that he had been picked up by one of the middle-tier hero agencies to branch out on his own as a pro, but it was finally happening. His dream was becoming a reality, even without a "showy" quirk.

The channels continued to flicker past with the pace of Kirishima's finger pressing on the remote. He thought as he flipped through, 'Comedy, romance, comedy, news, news, wait a minute...'

He stopped on one of the country's most prominent news channels, seeing a familiar blonde head of spikey hair. He listened intently to the newscast, failing to notice the sound of his roommate entering the apartment and rummaging through the fridge.

The bright blue haired woman reported, "Pro hero Ground Zero has made an impressive arrest of an especially elusive group of villains. These villains have caused a number of concerning events all across the nation, but proved to be exceptional when it came to escapes and under the radar movement. Never failing to impress us all, even with his aggressive demeanor, Ground Zero has succeeded once again." A quiet, annoyed man, Ground Zero, glanced at the camera before Kirishima slammed on the button to turn it off. He sighed, laying his head into his hands.

"You know, man, you'll have to get used to seeing him eventually. He just keeps getting higher on the hero ranks. The press loves him, all brooding and mysterious."

Kirishima jumped at his friends and comment, as he still hadn't noticed his presence before then. "Hey Kaminari. Yeah, he's definitely making a name for himself, isn't he? It's great!" He gave a half hearted grin.

"Don't pull that 'I'm super happy for him' bullshit on me, Kirishima." Kaminari plopped next to the red head and started slurping on an orange soda. "I mean, you could just call him. I don't think letting your heart stop every time you see him on TV is helping anyone."

"No. And damnit, Kaminari, my heart doesn't STOP when I see him. You're always making it sound like something bigger than it is. We were friends and I didn't want to prevent him for staying focused on his goal. We just needed to go our separate ways. I didn't need to get in his way..."

Kaminari peered at Kirishima over his soda can in the midst of a sip. Kirishima hated when he gave him that look. That look of KNOWING. He had never told Kaminari the full reason why he had cut ties with Bakugou upon their graduation. He had never told anyone. Saying it out loud would just make everything feel worse, hurt him deeper.

"So, What, five years later and you still have to hang on to some dumb chivalrous reason why you can't be friends with the guy?"

Kirishima began to open his mouth to respond, but was cut off by his phone started going off with a signature ringtone that meant his agency was calling. It was a recording of him saying "hero time!"

"Good god, Kirishima, that is literally the worst ringtone I've ever heard. Who makes a ringtone of THEMSELVES? I think my ears are bleeding."

Kirishima gave Kaminari a sufficiently annoyed glare before picking up the call. After a quick conversation with his manager, he was off to his assignment.

In these moments, he wasn't 23 year old Kirishima Eijiro. In these moments, he was Red Riot, a hero who refused to back down. He was strong. Unbreakable. He had just taken down a low level villain with a dangerous quirk that allowed him to shoot out gasoline and create sparks to ignite it. It had been a tough fight, leaving the red head with a number of burns on his rough skin. He had come out on top, however, having a quirk of his own well suited for this type of foe.

Kirishima was busy tying up the unconscious villain so the police could remove him to prison when a voice he hadn't heard in person in nearly five years made his heart stop. It was just like Kaminari had accused, those heart stopping moments. A number of fires had broken out because of the villain's quirk. It was dark, almost 10 at night. The tall buildings of the city created dark shapes dancing through the rising smoke. The fire department diligently worked to put them out. All of this, the dancing light of the flickering flames, the crackling of the searing smoke and sparks, made the moment the voice touched his ears seem that much more climactic. Like he had been waiting for this his entire life.

"You didn't totally suck at that, shitty hair." Bakugou Katsuki, Ground Zero, yelled out.

He was standing on a nearby mountain of rubble from the fight. Kirishima could hardly believe his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. For a few heartbeats, he refused to look up, lest it turn out it truly was a dream. He finished tying the villain up, working carefully to ensure the knot was tight. His heart began to pound.

"You're just going to fucking ignore me?" Bakugou called again. He hopped down from the rubble, hands in his pockets and a scowl on his face. Kirishima thought it was a little funny to hear such familiar speech from the man. On the news, he was always silent but in truth, he clearly hadn't changed. He just knew how to keep up appearances to the public. Brooding and mysterious, like Kaminari had said.

Another minute passed and Kirishima realized he still hadn't responded. He finally decided to indulge himself. He slowly lifted his head, allowing his eyes to meet the angry blonde's. Those angry red eyes he had once seen every day.

"Hey man..." he muttered. "Didn't know you were in town..."

Bakugou looked curiously back at him. "Yeah, my agency sent me out this way to raid a hideout for some villains we'd been after." Tiny explosions danced on Bakugou's hands before he clenched them into fists. "They didn't stand a chance."

The cocky, sadistic grin that once was a staple of Kirishima's day played on Bakugou's face. "I'm glad you're doing well, man, seriously... you're already in the top five heroes. Pretty impressive especially when you consider how quiet you always are on TV." Kirishima smiled.

"Fuck you, I'm a gem."

"Sure, man."

The two stood there, not saying anything while the police finally arrived to remove the villain. Kirishima finally spoke up. "Well, i should get home. Good seeing you though... Bakugou..." it was tough to get the name out. Kirishima turned, heading away from Bakugou,

"The fuck?" The reply was incredulous.

"What?" Kirishima turned, surprised.

"Come grab something to eat with me, dumbass. It's been five years." It wasn't a request. Kirishima was glad it wasn't. If it had been a question, an invitation, he might have been able to convince himself to say no. A command took away this option. Bakugou wanted to catch up with him. Excitement bubbled up inside of him. Kirishima felt incredibly happy and grateful to know Bakugou still thought of him as someone worth spending his time on. Would his heart ever stop pounding like this?

"Oh, uh, yeah, sure!"

'What am I thinking?' Kirishima mused as the walked along together, him following a beat behind Bakugou. 'I shouldn't even be doing this. I don't know if I can sit across from him and not want to go back... change everything... I can't forget...' Kirishima felt hyper aware of everything. The blood pumping through his veins. The muffled thump of his pulse in his ears. The warmth of his cheeks.

They walked just a few blocks away from the scene. They arrived at a late night bar frequently visited by other heroes and found a booth by the front window. They waited for their server. Kirishima kept stealing glances at the blonde sitting across from him, who had his chin on his hand and was scowling out the window.

"I see you on TV sometimes." Bakugou stated flatly.

Kirishima knew he had to act like himself no matter how fast his heart was beating. He had to be happy, outgoing Kirishima. Bakugou could smell fake bullshit from a mile away. He had to be good at this. "Yeah! I finally got to break away from being a sidekick this year!"

"I know." The reply was quick. Quicker than it should have been. Did Bakugou follow Kirishima's activity closely? Did he care enough to know what he was up to even after so long? He coughed, trying to steer his thoughts back to normal conversation. 'Have to stay focused.' He thought.

"I live not too far from here. It's a decent city. Mostly small time villains. This guy was actually pretty bad for what we normally see." Kirishima gestured back towards the area they had just left, referring to his recent capture.

"I watched the whole thing. You almost got your ass handed to you a few times."

Kirishima scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Yeah, I was a little overtired tonight. Not at the top of my game. Honestly, my roommate had a girl over last night and I, uh, couldn't sleep for obvious reasons." He cringed a little, remembering the sounds that carried through the thin walls.

"Roommate?" Bakugou turned away from scowling at the window to face Kirishima. His brows were still pulled together, looking annoyed. For some reason, he looked even more annoyed, Kirishima noticed.

"Yeah, Kaminari and I live together. I mean, eventually I'd like to get my own place, but until I become more prominent that just isn't going to happen. Sidekick pay is a joke so I was never able to save up much before now..." Kirishima thought he was doing pretty well at this whole "acting normal" thing. Talking about the city he lived in, his roommate, finances, job, totally normal.

"So you stay friends with that idiot and cut me off like some piece of shit?"

Kirishima wasn't sure it would be possible to have a normal conversation now.


	2. Chapter 2

Kirishima remembered why they stopped talking like it was

—-

Kirishima sat next to Bakugou in the crowded public library. It was finals time for schools across the country, not just U.A., leaving few places to sit. Fortunately, a few well-placed glares on Bakugou's part had caused some junior high kids to vacate their places for the them. There was only one week left until exams, Kirishima remembered. While Bakugou had always passed written tests like they were nothing, he routinely struggled. Through their entire high school careers, Bakugou had been a huge help to keeping him on track.

"Alright, Kirishima, get ready to be tutored until you bleed." The blonde clenched his fist and slammed a pile of books, at least ten high, in front of them. Kirishima realized then how often Bakugou had been using his first name in recent months. Why was that? When had it started? Was he the only one Bakugou cared enough about to use names? Why didn't he use the old typical nicknames; shitty hair, hair for brains, dumbass?

"What are you gaping at, dumbass?"

Okay, maybe that last one still popped up from time to time. Kirishima knew he recently acquired a nasty habit of spacing out when he was with Bakugou. Not because he was bored of his company. Far from that, in fact. Instead, he was analyzing everything about the blonde. How Bakugou laughed more when they were together. How Bakugou always stood near him when in groups. He noticed how much his muscles had grown since their first day of U.A. Strange things were starting to consume Kirishima's mind whenever he was with his angry friend. Why was that? There had to be a reason.

"Sorry, man, spaced out again.." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"We don't have time for you to act like one of the other class idiots. We have tons of shit to cover today and i don't feel like repeating myself a thousand times."

While these words would sound harsh to most people, Kaminari had once pointed out that Kirishima possessed an impressive "Bakugou filter". This meant that while everyone else heard Bakugou's words as nothing but him being a curt asshole, Kirishima heard the real meaning behind them. For example, the previous statement reached his brain as 'I won't let you fail your final, bro. Not if it takes me all night.'

They spent hours hitting the books. Kirishima read and memorized passages from the texts. He practiced some of the most difficult math problems he had ever seen while Bakugou pointed out his "bullshit" errors and omissions. Exhaustion was slowly creeping up on Kirishima as the sun finally began to set. His focus had prevented him from noticing that almost every other student had filtered out from the library. It was closing soon.

"We should head out, man. I didn't realize how late it's getting." Kirishima muttered exhaustedly.

Bakugou scowled. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his baggy grey pants and he was pushing his feet against the table, causing his chair to tip backwards. He was so manly. "See if your parents care if you spend the night at my house. We can get in a few more hours tonight and start first thing in the morning that way."

Kirishima's heart stuttered. What the hell was that feeling? "You want me to spend the night at your house?" He asked. He realized his voice sounded far too hopeful and far too excited as it came out. He instantly regretted the question.

"Well, fuck, it's only because you're so damn dense and need the extra help if you want to pass this thing." Kirishima could swear Bakugou was intentionally not looking at him as he spoke.

"Right, right. You're an awesome bro you know! Always helping me out with this stuff and everything... i really appreciate it... if it weren't for you, i probably wouldn't even..."

"You'd figure it out another way. You'd probably be studying with that creation girl or some shit. You'd be fine."

There it was. That simple reassurance that only Bakugou had ever been able to provide him. These small moments made Kirishima feel worth something. Although it also made his stomach feel a little funny... why was that? He had so many questions these days.

"Are you coming or not?"

And he had spaced out again. Bakugou was already up, packing up the books and making his way to the door before Kirishima caught up with a rather large smile on his face. His heart and step felt just a little lighter as they took the ten minute walk, side by side, to Bakugou's house.

The Bakugou family home was huge to Kirishima, whose family lived in a small apartment.

As they reached the door, Kirishima remembered something that worried him. "Wait, man, did you ask your parents if it was okay for me to come over? I don't want them to think I'm rude the first time they meet me!" It was important to him that he make a good first impression. These were his best bros parents, after all.

Bakugou rolled his eyes. "They've been trying to convince me to let you come over for months now. 'Bring over your nice friend', 'who is that guy you're always with', 'why don't you let us meet him.'" Kirishima imagined the mocking tone Bakugou was using was in imitation of his mother. Being spoken about as 'that guy he's always with' made Kirishima's stomach feel funny again. His palms were a little sweaty and his heart was beating a bit too fast. Was he getting sick?

"Oh, uh, great. Glad they want to meet me I guess."

"You guess?"

"I mean, let's do this!" Realizing he wasn't acting like himself again, Kirishima piped up and began skipping to the front door.

"Holy shit, sometimes I forget how insufferable you are. Stop skipping in front of my house, damnit."

They stepped inside, Bakugou leading. Before he had even taken his shoes off, hurried footsteps met Kirishima's ears. Two people suddenly stood in front of him, looking pleased and curious, too curious. He was face to face with Bakugou's parents. Would his palms ever stop sweating? His mom could have passed as his older sister. Her skin was incredibly soft and she appeared far younger than she should have, considering how old she must be. His dad had a softer voice than He would have expected. He had kind eyes and came off as extremely polite and genuine. Kirishima bowed to them both, ignoring the pounding of his heart.

"Thank you for allowing me to spend the night. Bakugou has been helping me study for the finals. I don't know what I would do without his help."

Bakugou let out a "tch". "I told you already.. you would be fine, dumbass."

"Katsuki! Don't call your friend a dumbass!" Bakugou's mother slammed her fist against his head, stunning Kirishima. Bakugou's aggression and violence suddenly all made sense with that one swift movement. 'So strange...' Kirishima thought.

"Shut up old woman!" Bakugou yelled.

He spoke to his mom like that? Kirishima pulled sheepishly on the sleeve of Bakugou's jacket. "Uh, bro, don't you think you should be a bit nicer to your mom?"

His mother's eyes lit up. "This boy is good for you, Katsuki. Maybe you should make him a real part of the family one of these days." She winked.

Kirishima lit up like a stop light. What did she mean by that? Real part of the family? There are really only two ways to become part of a family you weren't born into; you get adopted, or married.. Could she be suggesting...? He could barely think straight now, let alone worry about getting his face to revert back normal colors.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean, old hag?!" Bakugou's fist was in the air, about to pounce on his mother.

"Oh, nothing, nothing." She replied.

Kirishima grabbed him by the arm before he reached his mother. Bakugou seemed to freeze solid under his touch. His body went rigid. Kirishima looked up to his face (he had been staring at the arm he was suddenly grabbing) and found him looking almost as red as he felt.

"Yeah, lets go." Bakugou mumbled. He led Kirishima to his room.

The room was larger than what Kirishima was used to, matching the size of the house. It was simple, however, and very clean. Not a paper or book seemed out of place. This was one of the many things Kirishima always found so interesting about Bakugou. While his personality was intense and chaotic, all of the other pieces of his life were organized and controlled. Only a couple of posters adorned the wall; one of all might and one a band Kirishima didn't recognize. The warmth in his cheeks was finally beginning to recede. Part of the family...

"Earth to Kirishima, are you ready to finish the math problems?" Bakugou was glaring at him. He had spaced out again.

"You bet!"

"You know, for a guy who claims to hate studying, you've been awfully cheerful today."

"Yeah, heh, weird..."

'Maybe it's because I'm with you all day.' Kirishima thought, desperately trying to will his cheeks to remain their normal color once he realized what he was thinking. Where did that come from?

"I'm just pumped to finally be done with school, you know!? This is really it! We just pass the finals and we're off to become future pros!" He hid the weird thoughts he was having from his response. Bakugou didn't need to know what strange things kept zooming through Kirishima's mind. Just friends, just bros...

"Speaking of which..." Bakugou suddenly looked serious. "I've been meaning to mention..." he paused thoughtfully, brows furrowed.

Kirishima stared at the concerned face. There hadn't been many times he had seen this look. "What is it..? You okay, man?"

Bakugou scowled. "Don't be all dramatic or anything, fuck... I got some offers from hero agencies already. And I... think I know which one I'm gonna go with."

He breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing too major. "That's great! But why don't you seem more excited? Is it not the place you were hoping for?"

"Of course it's the one i was hoping for. Why wouldn't they take someone as awesome as me?" Bakugou paused again with the similar scowl. "Have you had any offers yet?"

Kirishima thought. "Yeah... well, a couple, but they were really low tier agencies. I'm sure something better will come through, but at least i have something for sure.."

Bakugou frowned. He was silent for a moment before asking Kirishima "why the fuck" he hadn't opened a book yet. But it was too late. Kirishima had noticed the look of mild concern mingled with irritation. Was Bakugou hoping they would get offers from the same agency? Didn't he know how unlikely that was, with the literally hundreds of agencies all over the country?

They continued to study, staying up later than they should have. Every now and then, when Bakugou thought Kirishima wasn't looking, he spotted that face of mingled worry again. What could that mean? He was too tired to think about it for much longer...

It was dark, and Kirishima felt stiff. He opened his eyes, confused for a moment by the unfamiliar shapes and shadows surrounding him. He rolled to his side, attempting to stretch his stiff muscles, before remembering where he was. Bakugou's room. They had fallen asleep on the floor while studying. Bakugou was less than a foot from Kirishima's face.

He simply stared. Things Kirishima had never truly noticed before became so obvious to him. It were almost blinding. The strong curve of Bakugou's jaw. The slow rise and fall of his chest. His soft lips. Kirishima wondered what was wrong with him lately? Why was he noticing these things?

He closed his eyes again and remembered everything they had been through. So many life or death situations, but the one where Bakugou had reached out, grabbing Kirishima's hand, was stuck in his mind as he lay there. He thought of the hours Bakugou spent tutoring him. The times they had lunch together or trained together. And then Kirishima imagined they got into different agencies, and never saw one another again. His heart seemed to collide with a wall. He didn't want to be without his explosive, blonde friend. No matter what anyone else thought of him, Kirishima thought Bakugou was incredible. Every scowl, swear, and brash decision was fine by him; it was Bakugou.

His heart started to beat frantically again. His cheeks were engulfed by the familiar warmth. His stomach churned. He finally understood. He loved Bakugou. He was IN LOVE with Bakugou.

—

"Excuse me?" Kirishima asked, stunned by the direct question.

"You fucking heard me. You threw me in the garbage and yet you MOVE IN with that brain fried bastard? The fuck?"

"It's... it's not like that. Kaminari and I work for the same agency.. we were both sidekicks. The arrangement just worked." Kirishima could hardly believe how angry Bakugou looked.

"Doesn't answer the other part of my question."

Kirishima bit his lip. "It wasn't about you, man. It was about me." He knew he had to come up with a believable enough lie. Or maybe, just a slight spinning of the truth. "You helped me so much all throughout high school and i just... wanted to go off and see what i could do on my own, you know? Like, make my own path and stuff."

Bakugou eyed him carefully. His chin still rested on his hand, with his elbow propped against the table. Kirishima could tell from his gaze that he didn't believe him, not fully. Bakugou had a knack for sniffing out weakness and dishonesty. Even after all of these years, it was clear that that hadn't changed. Kirishima could barely breathe, waiting for the blonde to call out his lie.

"So have you found your own path?" Bakugou asked, looking back out the window. Kirishima got the feeling he was trying to be unconcerned by what the answer might be, but he knew by the slight shivering in the voice how important this was to him.

"Well, Yeah... Yeah, i guess i have. I mean, I'm a hero now, all on my own. I'm obviously not in the top 20 or anything but I'm on the right track... i just need to figure out what my niche is... at least, that's what my manager keeps telling me. I need to be more interesting to the public and get involved with some larger scale stuff, you know?" Kirishima was babbling a bit. He felt grateful just to have the conversation going down a line that didn't include the last five years of not speaking. He was dedicated to keeping this conversation less intimidating for himself.

"Then you should join the agency I'm part of."

There was no hesitation, not an ounce of pause. Bakugou wasn't looking out the window anymore. He rested his hands on his thighs underneath the table and looked Kirishima straight in the eyes. He could feel his heart beat picking up tremendously again. His mouth felt dry. Why did Bakugou always have to cause is body to react this way? Could he hear the pounding in his chest?

"I can't... I can't just leave my agency. Not after all they've done for me."

"Tch... heroes do it all the fucking time. If you want to be the best, sometimes you have to hop around to the place with the right opportunities. My agency is obviously ranked higher than yours. They can get you to the next level way quicker than where you are now. Besides, wasn't it your plan forever ago to work there?"

And there it was. The point Kirishima had been waiting for Bakugou to bring up. The truth was, that HAD been his plan five years ago. He had told his friend he wanted to go the same agency because of how highly ranked it was. But he hadn't gone. The reason why still tore him apart five years later. The secret was threatening to overwhelm him like a rip current pulling him into the sea. The crimson eyed gaze was pulling him in deeper and deeper. He couldn't breathe. Kirishima was in too deep.

"I can't, Bakugou, I'm sorry. I won't leave my agency. I just can't..."

"Fuck's sake... why not?" Bakugou paused, shaking slightly before yelling high full force. "When are you going to stop fucking lying to me!? This obviously has NOTHING to do with what agency you work for." Bakugou slammed his fist against the table, causing the patrons around them to jump in their seats.

"Don't do this, man. Not now." Kirishima was sweating and he couldn't look Bakugou in the eye.

"Then when, huh? When are you going to finally stop this beating around the bush bullshit and tell me the damn truth?!"

Bakugou's eyes poured into Kirishima as though he was reading his very soul. He couldn't do it. He wasn't strong enough. He couldn't look at this face. The face of the boy he had loved, desperate for an answer. Was that pain on Bakugou's face? Had he been wondering all these years why he hadn't heard a word? God, that made Kirishima hate himself all the more. He couldn't DO this. He couldn't sit here and continue this. His heart would leap out of his chest if he sat there any longer. He couldn't sit here. He couldn't face this boy, this man.

Finally, his body moved on its own. Kirishima shot up from his chair. He reached a hand into his pocket, pulling out a few yen, and placed it gently on the table.

"I can't do this, Bakugou. I'm sorry."

He left the establishment, knowing full well that if he looked back, that tightly held secret would escape his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

It was for the best that Kirishima hadn't looked back. He would have been met with an expression that would have melted every ounce of his resolve. Bakugou remained at the bar, alone, for a few more hours.

Kirishima walked slowly back to his apartment. It was already past midnight, but Kirishima didn't much feel like going to bed. Before his battle, he had been so tired, so completely exhausted, because of his prior night of terrible sleep. Now, however, his heart was pumping so fast, he may as well been running a marathon. Why, after five years, was Bakugou so hell bent on knowing why Kirishima had stopped talking to him? Why had he looked hurt for a few fleeting moments during their conversation? Or had it been an argument?

Bakugou invited him to come work at his agency. Why? Kirishima found it difficult to believe that he was just looking out for his career. Kirishima felt so trapped in his own head, he could scream. He shuffled his feet noncommittally, barely paying attention to the direction he was traveling. He was in no rush to be trapped inside four walls right now. He remembered the last time he and Bakugou had seen one another face to face, and how different that had been from today.

—

Kirishima rolled out of bed, a combination of excitement and nerves bubbling inside him. It was graduation day. He and his classmates had finally completed their hero education and were ready to take on the world of the pros. Every one of them had received some type of job offer, some better than others, and would be taking on their new lives after today. Kirishima hadn't slept well the night before. Part of it was the excitement of the day, one he had been waiting for since he started at U.A. academy. The other part, however, was due to a decision he had made just yesterday.

It had been weeks since he realized the feelings he had for his best friend, Katsuki Bakugou. Just a few days ago, Kirishima had been thrilled to find he received an offer from the exact same agency Bakugou would be attending. He called his friend right away, practically yelling into the phone with exhilaration, telling him the good news. He was met with a "calm the fuck down, what are you even trying to say?" before he took a number of deep breaths and explained the news more calmly.

To his surprise, Bakugou seemed genuinely relieved and, maybe, happy, to hear it. In the days that followed this, Kirishima debated whether he should reveal his feelings before they went to the same agency. They would both be busy, sure, but he would still be seeing Bakugou most days, probably living near each other once again, and maybe working together on occasion. Kirishima couldn't imagine being able to hide his affections forever, faced so constantly with Bakugou's presence. He also couldn't shake the guilty feeling that enjoying their time together, because of how it made Kirishima's heart flutter, was taking advantage of Bakugou somehow.

Kirishima's poor sleep last night had been the result of deciding that today would be the day. Today, after their graduation ceremony, Kirishima would tell Bakugou the truth about how he felt. Maybe not every detail. Not the pounding of his heart. Not the way he drifted in and out of sleep at night, thinking of his golden hair and strong arms. No, not everything, but he would know that he felt more for him than friendship.

Kirishima played various scenarios in his head. Maybe he would just blurt it out, "I like you!" No, that was weird... where would he do it? It had to be somewhere somewhat private... he didn't expect his feelings to be reciprocated. Hoped, maybe. He knew there was every chance Bakugou would blow him to bits and stalk off. Hence, the need for a private place. His phone buzzed shaking him from his planning. It was a text.

-Bakugou-

Don't be fucking late today.

Kirishima smiled.

-Kirishima-

Of course not! When have /I/ ever been late?

-Bakugou-

You mean every day? I'll be at your place in 30. Be ready.

This sent Kirishima into a panic. He definitely should have gotten out of bed at least twenty minutes earlier. He rushed to shower, fix his hair, brush his teeth, and shove a slice of toast in his mouth before the thirty minutes were up. Kirishima waved to his parents, reminding them he would see them at the ceremony and exited his home. Sure enough, as promised, Bakugou stood there staring at his watch, waiting for him.

"Told you I'd be on time!" Kirishima gave a bright smile and a thumbs up.

"There's a first time for everything. Come on." Bakugou strode out of the driveway and to the sidewalk, Kirishima keeping apace next to him. Kirishima was struggling between staring at him, and avoiding looking at him entirely. This may be the final hours that their friendship could be normal like this. Bakugou would most likely reject him in some way, but Kirishima was determined to push to remain friends. He wasn't expecting anything from Bakugou from this confession. No, Kirishima just needed him to KNOW. He needed Bakugou to be able to actively choose this friendship even knowing Kirishima wanted more.

A few kids pointed excitedly at Bakugou as the pair walked by. Bakugou's name had become stunningly popular over the last several years of school. Between the sports festivals, internships, and brushes with villains, he always stood out as, well, cool. The fact that his temper had toned down, at least publicly, quite a bit since the first sports festival was even more in his favor.

They were nearing the school now, where the ceremony would be taking place. Kirishima noticed a place he had only considered once before. Not far from the U.A. gates was a small section of cherry blossom trees. The branches of these trees hung so low that standing in the midst of them would provide generous coverage from the rest of the world. Kirishima knew that this was the perfect place. Right after the ceremony, he was sure everyone would be mulling around, saying goodbyes and talking to loved ones. If he and Bakugou immediately went for this place, no one would be near to hear them. He thought of those potential rejection blasts again.

"You've been quiet today. Yesterday too." Bakugou stopped suddenly.

"Oh, yeah, just a lot to think about I guess. It's crazy, right? Three years and we're finally done. Everything is totally open to us from here. We can be whoever we want."

Bakugou looked annoyed. "Why? Who do you want to be?"

The question struck Kirishima as being much deeper than their usual conversations. It felt intimate. "I... don't really know..." Kirishima looked down, embarrassed that he didn't have a better answer.

"Don't be stupid. Be yourself." Bakugou hadn't looked at him, but Kirishima was staring at the side of his face. He knew it was a pretty kind thing to say as far as Bakugou was concerned.

"Right. Hey, Bakugou..." Kirishima stopped. His heart was pounding again. His breath felt caught in his throat. He wasn't sure the words would come out right. "Can you... meet me over there?" He pointed. "Like, right after the ceremony. I just... want to tell you something. It's important."

Bakugou finally looked at him, questioningly. His brows furrowed, but he didn't object. "I have to do one interview afterwards. I promised my future manager i would speak to this one reporter. Says it will be good for me." Bakugou shrugged.

"Sounds good. No problem, I'll wait until after the interview." They entered the gates of U.A., for the final time, together.

The ceremony passed quickly, quicker than Kirishima would have liked. Why was it that whenever you were looking forward to something, time had to snail by, but when you were nervous about something, it passed like lightening? He spent the entire production fidgeting to the annoyance of the angry blonde beside him. Twice, Bakugou got so irritated by his constant knee shaking The he elbowed him in the side to get him to stop. Now, however, it was over, and all Kirishima had to do was wait to the interview to be over and the time for his confession would be upon him.

Kirishima stood nearby while Bakugou spoke with the reporter. His answers were short and curt, but professional. Bakugou really had put a lot of work into his image over the last few years. Kirishima, however, could still pick up on those slight movements of irritation. Whenever the reporter asked a question Bakugou found particularly annoying, his right hand would twitch. If he was swallowing down what he really wanted to say, he left foot would dig into the ground. Kirishima was hardly listening to the dialogue between them. He was taking in every inch of the form driving his heart of his chest, not knowing if this would be the last time Bakugou would want to see him.

Kirishima shook his head to interrupt his staring. He forced himself to listen to the next question.

"How can you, a young boy of only 18, expect to be in the top five heroes in the next five years? Few people can say they've accomplished such a feat so quickly. We've seen you do some exceptional things in your years at U.A., but this is a whole different league. What will you do to get to the top so fast?" The reporter asked, shoving the microphone closer to Bakugou's face like a hungry wolf.

His right hand twitched. His left foot dug into the ground. "Focus."

It was one word. One word and it sent Kirishima spiraling, questioning everything he had thought about for days, hours, late into the night. Bakugou's greatest dream was to be the top hero someday. His goal had never wavered. Kirishima loved his determination. It was MANLY. Bakugou wasn't going to take reaching his goal slowly. That wasn't who he was. No, he would plow forward with every drop of energy he had, and Kirishima had no doubt that he would be successful. That wasn't the problem.

Bakugou needed to focus. Revealing his feelings, regardless of Bakugou's reaction, then going to the same hero agency as him would be nothing but a distraction, Kirishima realized. On the one hand, Bakugou would reject him. He might be okay with being friends still, sure, but going to the same agency after that would be burdensome. If he wasn't okay with being friends after the confession, Kirishima wouldn't be able to stand being at the same agency anyway. And then, there was the third, least likely possibility. If Bakugou reciprocated his feelings, they might be together, and that would be the worst distraction of them all. There was no scenario where revealing his feelings and working at the same place would not prevent Bakugou some of the focus he desperately needed to reach his goal.

Kirishima felt guilty. He had never even considered this side of things. He couldn't hold Bakugou back. Nothing could be worse than that. He loved the angry, blonde haired boy who he had spent the last three years getting to know. The thought of preventing him from reaching the top was a scenario Kirishima could not, would not, accept.

"Earth to dumbass." Bakugou was waving his hand in front of Kirishima's face. He had spaced out again, he realized.

"Sorry, sorry! How was the interview?" He tried to act normal.

"You weren't listening? It was fine. The reporter was annoying, but i have to get used to that, so..." Bakugou looked expectantly at him. "Weren't we supposed to go somewhere after? Didn't you have some super fucking important thing to tell me?"

Kirishima was sure his heart was stuck in his throat. He was also sure his body was sweating visibly. "Yeah, about that. we don't really have to go all the way out there. You can just forget it?"

"The fuck? You obviously had something you wanted to say to me. Just say it here, then."

Kirishima's mind raced. He wouldn't be a hindrance to Bakugou's life. He wouldn't do it. But he knew if he went to the same agency, even if it wasn't today, eventually he would burst and reveal his affections. It would only be a matter of time. He would be a distraction. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but it was inevitable. It was reckless, rash, and made Kirishima's heart sink, but he made a decision right there that he would not turn back from.

"I... decided I'm going to choose a different agency. It's in a different part of japan... they made me a decent offer and my quirk is really compatible with the hero i would be working with. I just... wanted you to know."

Bakugou stared into Kirishima's eyes, looking completely bewildered. "It can't be as good as the one I'm going to."

"Well, in ranking, no, but i just... think it fits better, you know? These things aren't always just about rankings." This was certainly true in this case, Kirishima though.

Bakugou huffed. "So, What, this is it? We say goodbye?"

"Yeah, i mean, i guess it is..." Kirishima scratched his neck. He wanted to say something, anything to make Bakugou not look so, disappointed. Bakugou wouldn't look at him. Did he know? Could he know how much this was killing Kirishima inside? Could he know it felt like he was literally being torn in two?

"Fucking whatever."

Bakugou left, not sparing Kirishima a single glance. These were the last words Kirishima would hear from that voice for five years.

—

Kirishima finally made it back to the tiny apartment he shared with Kaminari. His roommate had fallen asleep on the couch, legs dangling off the end of the too small furniture. Kirishima attempted to close the door quietly, but it caused Kaminari to stir anyway. He opened his eyes drearily and stretched.

"Hey man, it's late."

"I know." Kirishima grabbed a canned margarita from the refrigerator and fell into a chair.

Kaminari tilted his head. "You okay?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure I've ever felt worse."

Kaminari sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Want to talk about it?"

Kirishima played mindlessly with the tab of the fan, flicking it back and forth until it popped off. For the first time, Kirishima DID want to talk about it. If he kept everything inside any longer, he was sure he was sure his chest would burst. The pain inside was intense. So he started from the beginning. He explained the relationship he had built with Bakugou during high school first, some of which Kaminari already knew, but he didn't interrupt.

Kirishima explained when he realized he cared about Bakugou as more than a friend. He described his original plan to reveal the truth on graduation day, and why he had decided against it. He explained the decision he made that day to go their separate ways, his voice cracking as he spoke. Kaminari didn't interrupt. Finally, Kirishima explained the encounter he had had with Bakugou that evening. The two friends sat in silence for several minutes before Kaminari spoke up.

"Kirishima, i think you really fucked up."

"Who says that to someone who's bummed?!"

"I'm not saying it to make you feel bad! I just think you have to acknowledge that the decision you made five years ago was a fucking terrible one. It obviously hurt you, you're obviously still not over Bakugou, and it seems like, from what you describe, he misses you and wants an answer. It was a bad decision and if you just accept that, you can quit being terrified and tell him the truth."

"I'm not terrified." Kirishima mumbled, knowing he wasn't convincing anyone.

"You need to talk to him. It kills you every time you see him on the news."

Kirishima didn't respond.

"Look, I can't even begin to understand what the fuck you see in Bakugou, but that isn't the point. He asked you for an answer. He deserves an answer. And you deserve some closure. Think about it."

After sitting in silence for ten minutes, Kaminari sighed and got up to head to his room.

"Damnit!" Kirishima shouted,

"What?"

"I left my phone at the bar! I need that! What if the agency calls me?"

Kaminari rummaged through his oversized pocket and pulled out his own cellphone. "Try calling it. Maybe someone at the bar noticed it and it's in their lost and found or something.

Kirishima grabbed the bright yellow phone and dialed his number. It rang once, twice, a third time, before someone picked up, but didn't say anything.

"Hello? The phone you're on is mine. I left it behind. Can you hold onto it so i can come grab it?

"I'm only giving this back to you if you give me a fucking answer. The truth."

Kirishima's hand dropped limp at his side.

"What?" Asked Kaminari.

"Bakugou has it."


	4. Chapter 4

Kaminari stared, finally speaking quietly. "What did he say?"

Kirishima hadn't touched the red button to hang up the call before letting the phone dangle lazily at his side. It didn't matter. Bakugou had immediately hung up after providing his ultimatum. Kirishima guessed he was giving him time to think. Maybe just getting a new phone wasn't the worst idea. No, he didn't have the money to throw around like that and, besides, running from this hardly felt manly.

"He said he'll only give it back to me if i tell him the truth..." he mumbled.

"Look, man... he wants an answer. It's like i said, he kind of deserves one."

"I have no idea how he's gonna react though."

"It's Bakugou we're talking about here. Just assume he's going to blow you to dust, keep your quirk up the whole time, blurt it out, grab your phone, and leave!" Kaminari gestured his hands in a way that reminded Kirishima of Iida during high school. He smiled.

"Maybe i can be a BIT more manly than that. "

Kaminari shrugged. "Maybe, but it doesn't matter so much HOW you do it, but that you ACTUALLY do it this time." Kirishima felt his friend's hand on his shoulder, placed gently, giving him a comforting squeeze. "Bro, i know this is tough for you, but can it really be any worse than watching him from far off all these years? It's not like you've spent the last five years in some perfect, happy bliss that will shatter from this confession. You've been hurting for a long time. Maybe, worst case scenario, he tells you to fuck off and you can finally move on. At least you'll know you tried. Sometimes knowing is better."

Kirishima wrapped his arms around Kaminari's torso. His eyes were squeezed shut. He couldn't put into words how much this friendship had meant to him. He wasn't sure he could have prevented himself from sinking into some kind of deep depression if he inhabited these four walls alone. Kaminari was a brother to him and he knew, no matter what, that he would be waiting to hear what happened in a few hours.

Kaminari gave him a pat on the back before pulling away. "You're lucky you pay half the rent. You know how I feel about hugging. And you should probably go before you lose your nerve."

Kirishima smirked. "Right. Wait, i don't even know where to meet him..."

"Oh, i do."

"What? How!?"

Kaminari rolled his eyes and held up his phone. The screen was lit up and a strange number with a text box dominating the screen. "He texted it to my phone right after he hung up."

Bakugou had thought of everything. He really hadn't changed much after all.

It was past 1am now, and Kirishima knew from his walk home earlier that a breeze had started to circulate through the city. He grabbed his favorite sweatshirt, cranberry red, with big black letters saying "THE RIOT". Yes, he bought his own merch. He threw on a baggy pair of black pants and a pair of sneakers that were in better shape than most of his other shoes. He gave himself a quick look in the mirror before fluffing up his hair with his hand. Agh, why was he thinking so much about how he looked?

When Kirishima left his room, Kaminari was slouched in the couch again, flicking through channels on their television. "Well don't you look dapper?! Knock 'em dead, lady killer!" Kaminari winked, causing Kirishima to huff and slam the door of their apartment behind him.

He walked idly down the two flights of stairs, sticking his hands deep in his pockets. Now that Kaminari wasn't there to reassure him that this was the right decision, his mind began darting around to the many ways this could go horribly, horribly wrong. What was Bakugou expecting, he wondered. Had he already thought up some possibilities of why they hadn't spoken in five years? Would the truth come as a surprise to him, or would it have been one of those scenarios that crossed his mind before?

More importantly, how would Kirishima explain it? How would he say the words that had been stuck in his throat for 1825 days? He started mumbling to himself.

"I like you, Bakugou."

No, too simple. Besides, that didn't really answer the question of why they hadn't spoken.

"I stopped talking to you because I like you, Bakugou."

God, that doesn't even make sense. It was the truth but it sounded damn crazy. Who stops talking to someone because they like them? He would have to elaborate more than that...

"I had to stop talking to you so you could become the number one hero."

Still makes no sense... fuck. Why was this so hard? Would he have to just tell him the whole story, like he had Kaminari? It was easy telling Denki. There was no fear of the reaction. Denki had no really personal investment in the explanation, beyond wanting his friend to not be so bummed. Bakugou would be different. Would he even let him finish?

"Took you long enough."

Kirishima jumped and fell back, hitting the back of his head on the hard cement. "Fuck..." he rubbed his skull, squinting at the figure towering above him. "Bakugou..."

"Were you even paying attention to the fact that you were almost at the address? What kind of hero pays so little attention to his surroundings? And if you had been thinking any louder, the whole neighborhood would get woken up by your damn thoughts." The words were cold, but his hand stretched out to lift Kirishima to his feet.

He took it, and immediately wished he hadn't. His cheeks were on fire now. Why was Bakugou's hand so damn manly? His skin was rough and scarred. Kirishima let his eyes linger on the forearm muscle as it flexed, pulling him up. He smelled clean. He must have showered since coming home. On his feet again, he shook his head to arrive back in the real world.

"So What is this place?" He garnered the courage to break the ice.

"Just the hotel I'm staying at while on that job I told you about last night. I live in the town my agency is centered at, so I needed a place to stay so I wouldn't have to travel back and forth every day."

"Oh, right."

"So we have two options. Either we talk in the bar over there," Bakugou pointed across the street to a bar looking deserted, but clearly open. "Or we can go to my room. It's more like an apartment with a living room and shit. I don't really care which."

Kirishima realized that Bakugou still hadn't looked him in the eyes since he had arrived. It was like he was avoiding it. His voice even seemed a little shaky and low. Was he nervous? He couldn't possibly be as nervous as Kirishima, whose stomach was performing gymnastics of its own accord. He remembered his concerns about getting blown up during this impending conversation. Privacy was probably preferable.

"Let's.. go to your room."

Bakugou nodded and led the way. The hotel was nice, nicer than anything Kirishima had ever stayed in. This must be what a top five hero gets. The decor of the lobby was modern, but not too showy. The couches strategically placed around the room felt welcoming and looked plush and comfortable.

A short walk later and Bakugou opened the door to room 452. Kirishima stepped in, his mouth dropping open as he took in the scene before him. The place was bigger than the apartment he and Kaminari shared, there was no question about that. Similar to the lobby decor, luxurious furniture littered the spacious living area. A large flatscreen TV, set to the news, played quietly in the background.

"This place is amazing! God, i wish i lived here! I think my whole apartment would cost as much as the bathroom here!"

Bakugou chuckled. God, Kirishima missed that sound. It forced his blush to return and made him snap his head to face the blonde again. Bakugou had taken off the jacket he was wearing while waiting outside. His punisher shirt and cargo pants were now fully visible. Agh, how was he even more muscular than five years ago? And his style was the same. Kirishima felt more at home than he had in ages. The familiar scent of Bakugou after a shower, like an evergreen tree mixed with cinnamon, was all around him.

"Want something to drink?" Bakugou seemed to choose to ignore Kirishima's staring and made his way for the refrigerator.

"Oh, yeah, maybe a soda or something?" Kirishima plopped himself onto a blue, especially puffy looking couch and let out a sigh of relaxation. He heard the pop of a cork coming from the kitchen and a moment later, Bakugou was handing him a glass of red wine.

"Funny looking soda." Kirishima mumbled.

"You don't have to drink it, but it might help you out."

"Help me out?"

"You've been shaking since I helped you up outside. You need to fucking relax."

"Oh." Kirishima realized he was right. His foot was bouncing up and down like it was on a pogo stick. He took the glass, gulping it down like a man dying of thirst in the desert.

Bakugou sat next to him, sipping gently on his own glass. He still hadn't looked Kirishima in the eyes. They sat there, watching the TV in silence, neither one really listening to what the newscaster was saying, for nearly fifteen minutes.

"Is this a sleepover or do you not want your phone back?" Bakugou was always the first one to break the silence, even now.

"Sleepover?!" Kirishima's heart started pounding again. Was he expecting that somehow?

"Do you need more wine? You look like you're going to jump out of your own damn skin."

"Yes." Kirishima didn't hesitate. The first glass had done nothing. Bakugou was right. He needed to relax. One more couldn't hurt.

Bakugou obliged, getting up to pour the glass and returning a moment later to pass it to Kirishima. He took more time with this one, enjoying the flavor of the wine.

"Is this what it's like being a top hero?" Kirishima gestured to the room.

Bakugou grumbled and his voice came out gravelly. "I guess. It's not like it's all fancy hotels and shit, though. You know that. It's also blood and sweat and working with people you don't like. There's this one guy I get paired with all the fucking time because he has a water quirk. He puts out the fires I start but he's fucking insufferable. Always bouncing around like a hungry chihuahua."

Kirishima choked on the wine he was about to swallow as he started to laugh without control. The visual of an annoying, tiny guy always tagging along as Bakugou's sidekick was too much. Kirishima caught sight of a quick smirk playing on Bakugou's face too.

But his face quickly reverted to being serious, however. "But other days just suck. You make the wrong decisions, and someone gets hurt, or the bad guy gets away, and you remember even when you're the best, you're still only fucking HUMAN."

"Yeah, i guess those problems exist no matter how you're ranked. I know what you mean. The decisions we make out there can mean lives..." They sank back into silence, while Kirishima gazed out a large window into the night. Lights from all over the city were twinkling. He swigged the rest of the wine and set the glass down on the coffee table. Now his brain felt a bit fuzzy, but more at ease. It was now or never.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered.

Finally, Bakugou looked at Kirishima, whose head was bent down, staring at the floor. "You're going to have to give me a little more than that."

Oh no. Now his eyes were stinging. His throat was dry. He knew what was about to happen. Yes, the wine had made him less inhibited by his own embarrassment, willing to say things he hadn't said before. But it also made him feel emotional. It brought the sadness, loneliness, the longing of years to the surface. Kirishima had buried these feelings for too long and if he was going to come clean, his soul was going to make damn sure he released every pent up emotion.

Kirishima looked up, tears pooling in his eyes, meeting the confused crimson gaze of the man sitting next to him.

"Kirishima..." Bakugou whispered, surprise etched into his features.

"Just... just don't stop me, okay? If I'm going to do this than I want to get it all out and if you stop me then... I don't know if I'll be able to start again." Bakugou didn't say anything, but kept staring, so Kirishima pushed forward. He decided to start with the hardest part.

"It was around finals time in our last year when I realized..." he swallowed, reminding himself that this would be the worst part to get out. "I had feelings for you. I think i felt that way for a while, but that's when i realized it, i guess." Kirishima refused to look at Bakugou as he continued. He looked at anything, everything, else. The carpet, the curtains, the newscaster's ugly yellow suit.

"I was going to tell you after our graduation, when I asked you to meet me outside the gates. But I... I heard the reporter ask you how you were going to become number one so quickly and you..."

This was a painful memory too.

"You said you needed to focus. And i knew... my feelings would only ever be a distraction. I knew if i told you and went to the same agency, it would be awkward, and i would just get in the way. Then i thought about not telling you and just going anyway, but i knew that wouldn't work either... eventually i would blurt it out. It would be too much to keep to myself faced with you every day. So when you came to meet me after the ceremony i decided..."

How long had the tears been falling down his cheeks? Kirishima was so immersed in his confession that he hadn't noticed.

"I decided i would keep it to myself, completely, and go in another direction. I wanted to let you achieve your goals without me getting in the way. I didn't want to hold you back. I didn't want to be selfish." He took a deep breath. The tears fell from his chin to the floor, making little dark spots on the red carpet.

"But it's killed me. It killed me the day you walked away, and it kills me every time I see you on the news. I can't stand it. I should be happy for you. I should be happy that you've done so well and you're on TV so much. But I'm not. I'm just not and i don't know if i ever will be. I'm selfish." Kirishima stopped. He used his forearm to wipe his eyes and dared look back up at Bakugou, who had remained silent, as requested.

"What the fuck..." it wasn't his normal tone. There was no malice. His voice was shaking. They both sat, allowing a few beats of silence to fill the air.

"Because of one fucking thing I said to some stupid reporter? You just, changed fucking everything?" But now it sounded like he was regaining his composure. Kirishima felt sick. This was what he expected though, the anger and disgust.

"You're right. You were fucking selfish. You could have told me the truth. You SAID you were going to the same agency as me. You were screaming into the phone, you were so excited we were going to be able to go TOGETHER. Then you just tell me on the LAST DAY that you've changed your mind. You don't tell me why. You don't consider for a fucking second how thinking we were going to the same place for weeks, and then having that fucking fall apart would make ME feel. "

What was happening? He wasn't angry or disgusted at Kirishima's feelings. This was about something entirely different. Kirishima was beside himself. He had never expected this response. He had expected anger, sure, but not the type of anger Bakugou was displaying currently. It was like he was indignant that Kirishima /left/ him.

Bakugou looked away, out the same window Kirishima had been staring through moments ago. "Instead of telling me the whole truth, you just fucking decided my life for me. You didn't let ME decide what I wanted. That's what was selfish."

"Bakugou, I..." Kirishima reached out to touch has shoulder, but Bakugou swatted him away.

"Just go, Kirishima. I can't fucking look at you right now."


	5. Chapter 5

Kirishima definitely couldn't breathe anymore. The tears had stopped falling. Honestly, he felt nothing; the words the fell from Bakugou's mouth had numbed him completely. Have to say something. Have to. He kept thinking. His lips needed to move.

"You... want me to go? Can't you please stay? Talk to me?" It was barely audible, but at least he succeeded in forcing his throat to make coherent sounds.

Bakugou said nothing. Instead, he got up, walked across the spacious living room, and opened a door Kirishima could tell led to the bedroom. The small glimpse he could gather showed this room was just as impressive as the rest of the place. The glimpse was short lived, however, because Bakugou slammed the door behind him.

Kirishima was alone. His body felt alien to him, sitting in this strange hotel room, like he was trapped in a nightmare that he couldn't wake up from. He sunk his head down and wrapped his hands behind his neck. 'You knew he would be angry, Kirishima. You knew he might tell you he never wanted to speak to you again.' He thought to himself, trying to logic away the numbness.

But the fact was, it wasn't the Bakugou not wanting to speak to him part that was so difficult to swallow. No, it was the fact that Bakugou seemed so genuinely angry that he had left on a whim. And what did he mean by saying that Kirishima had decided his life for him? What decision would Bakugou have made had he not failed to confess his feelings and follow him to the same hero agency?

What would life be like, right now, if he hadn't changed everything for the sake of "focus"? And, more importantly, what had Bakugou been feeling all of these years?

—

"I'm going to a different agency."

The fuck? Bakugou couldn't help but stare at his annoying red headed friend. For weeks the plan had been to go to the same agency. Kirishima had been thrilled about it from the second he got the offer. Never, not once, had he insinuated there was a chance of going anywhere else. Bakugou felt, fuck, was he sad over this? No, sad wouldn't cut it. It felt way worse than that. His stomach felt like it was sinking to the soles of his feet. He was going to be sick. He hadn't prepared for this.

Bakugou had known for months how he felt about Kirishima. After an episode where he overheard a couple of kids from another class making fun of Kirishima's stupid quirk and hair, Bakugou had known. He was so angry, so fucking pissed, to hear a bunch of random kids putting Kirishima down. They didn't know him. How could they talk shit about Kirishima within earshot of Bakugou? How dare they? Kirishima was strong, determined, happy, and so damn likable. They knew nothing about him.

That was when he knew. His anger at their words and the affectionate thoughts that raced through his mind to defend Kirishima had taught him; Eijiro Kirishima was more than a friend to Katsuki Bakugou. Somehow, this loud, obnoxious guy had forced himself into Bakugou's life from their first week at school, and the bond had only grown. Now it felt like more.

And yet, knowing all of that, and being faced with Kirishima parting ways with him, all Bakugou could manage to respond with was "fucking whatever". Maybe if he had known then that it would be another five years before Kirishima would stand in front of him again, he would have done things differently.

The years passed. Bakugou followed everything about Kirishima's career and he hated himself for it. Googling "red riot" became a part time hobby for Bakugou. The good thing was, most of the time, he was able to drown himself in his hero work. It was only when he was out on the front lines, blowing things up, being the best, that he didn't think about Kirishima.

Bakugou only spent the first 6 months of his career as a sidekick and quickly rose up the ranks as five years passed. Plenty of women attempted to win the brooding hero's affections, but he never gave any of them a chance. Most of his time was spent alone traveling the world for work or pleasure. He climbed mountains that brought him face to face with the heavens, pure blue skies, in parts of the globe he barely knew existed. His life was full of so many things he had always wanted, but he never felt at home.

Not since the day Kirishima left. The one person who just fucking Iunderstood/I him. Just iaccepted/i him as he was. Maybe his obsession with travel had really just become a coping mechanism. Maybe it was an attempt to get out of his own damn head. How could Kirishima have left this big of a hole in his life? He was one person. How could he still feel this intensely about it after five years?

"I need you to go to Kyosa." Bakugou's boss said to him one morning. "That child smuggling gang we've been after for over a year... we have intel that they've setup some inconspicuous location there as a hideout. You're going to go with a couple other heroes from other agencies and squash them once and for all."

"Tch..." he scowled.

"Look, I know you hate teaming up with other heroes but this isn't something you can do alone. A bunch of their top villains should be there at the time we've planned for you to arrive. This is going to squash all of their power players. I don't need you going alone and coming back in a body bag."

"Fine, I get it, whatever." Bakugou grabbed the papers his boss had laid on the table for him, explaining the details of the job, and left to pack.

It was a long 6 hour train road to Kyosa. He hated train rides. He always got stuck in his head during them and this time was even worse than usual. Kyosa was where Kirishima worked now. He knew this from the articles he read online. But really, what were the chances that they would see each other there, Bakugou tried to remind himself.

The last moment they had been face to face kept replaying in his head. Bakugou wished he had pushed Kirishima for a better explanation at the time. There was no way that he had changed his mind overnight just because. Had he said something to piss Kirishima off? Had Kirishima been afraid of living in Bakugou's shadow if they went together?

"ARGH! Fuck's sake!" He yelled, rummaging his hands through his hair. He had forgotten he was on a public train. Always stuck in his own head, totally unaware of his surroundings when he wasn't working.. The fellow passengers just gave him strange looks and let him be. For most heroes with his level of popularity, he would get crowded more often. People knew Bakugou wasn't one for fans and fawning; it was his schtick.

Finally he made it to Kyosa and headed straight for the place he was supposed to meet up with the other heroes he had to partner with. The mission order hadn't said who, which was a bit unusual. But when Bakugou arrived, he knew immediately why that had been left out.

He noticed them as he turned the corner, finally facing the building they were supposed to meet at. His mouth dropped. "Fucking Deku and... what in the actual fuck.." It was Shoto Todoroki.

"Now Kachann don't freak out..."

"Don't fucking call me that. I'm not a kid. I'm at fucking work."

"Sorry..." Deku mumbled. The three stood in silence. The men standing across from Bakugou looked as though they were patiently waiting for him to give the finger and leave. But he was better than that these days, mostly..

"Stop fucking looking at me like I'm gonna snap. Let's go inside and figure this shit out so we can go our separate ways."

And that's exactly what they did. They focused on work, going over the intel, the proposed plan, scenarios that could go right or wrong. Bakugou only dropped five F-bombs during the three hour planning session, which he felt was impressively well controlled for him.

The mission went rather well. Not perfect; these things never were. All three heroes had ended up with some injuries, mostly minor, but Deku also had a nasty slash on his right arm while Bakugou had a wound on his leg from being grazed by a bullet that needed tending to. The two sat outside on the edge of an ambulance as the medics addressed these.

"Kaccha... er... Ground Zero, can i ask you something?" Bakugou continued looking straight ahead, staring at a spot on the road in front of him, saying nothing. Maybe if he just ignored this annoying green haired prick, he would stop talking to him.

"It's.. about Kirishima..."

Damn it. Bakugou knew his face had screwed up into shock, outside of his control. His neck had snapped to face Deku, also outside of his control. "Fuck off. I don't talk to him anymore." He managed to get out before turning back to staring at his spot.

"I, Well, I know that. I heard about what happened after graduation. How he changed his mind on agencies all of a sudden."

Fucking Deku. Always knew too much; always got in people's business without being invited. Five years. Deku was taller, bulkier, more confident, but he was still annoying as fuck. He wouldn't stop talking.

"I just... I know you were really close with him and all day I couldn't help but notice... you look really sad all the time."

Fuck him. Bakugou seriously considered if he could get away with punching the hero he was supposed to be working with in the face. Probably not. And now Bakugou could tell from the corner of his eye that Deku was rummaging in his pocket for something. Suddenly, he thrust his phone in Bakugou's face. The light from it felt a little blinding in the darkness that surrounded the ambulance, so it took a second for him to focus and see the words.

i Red Riot On The Scene At Kyosa's Center Terminal /I

He was only about 10 minutes away.

"Maybe it's time you ask him for some answers..." Deku mumbled.

Fuck. Fucking Deku. Why did he have to always pull this shit, getting right to the heart of people's problems? Bakugou felt his heart pounding. He should be exhausted from the recent series of events, but the headline seemed to shoot energy through his veins. Should he really go? Should he really demand to know what happened? How he had fucked up?

"Sir, you're all set." The medic patted Bakugou on the shoulder after placing the last of the bandages on his leg.

He had decided. He was going to do what he should have done five years ago. He was going to face Kirishima. Deku, still having his own, more serious wound attended to, met Bakugou's eyes hopefully for a moment.

"Thanks." It was barely a whisper. Maybe Deku hadn't even actually heard it, but Bakugou suspected he had because of the stupid smile that appeared.

Ten minutes wasn't long enough to gather his thoughts and figure out how he was going to approach this. Before he knew it, he had arrived and was watching Kirishima work from the shadows. He made a few mistakes that were obvious to Bakugou, watching from the sidelines. His improvement was extensive and noticeable, however. It was clear why he could now be a solo hero. And then it was over, and Bakugou decided. He would call out to him the way he always had.

"You didn't totally suck at that, shitty hair."

Bakugou saw Kirishima tense as he was tying the villain up with rope in preparation for the police's arrest, but he didn't turn around even when the rope was knotted.

"You're just going to fucking ignore me?" Fucking Kirishima. He still stood there, frozen as a statue. Was he shocked to hear Bakugou calling out to him after so long? Or was he annoyed? Was this whole thing a fucking terrible idea? Fucking Deku.

But finally, Kirishima looked up, meeting Bakugou's eyes with his own. He looked nervous and unsure, but maybe also a little embarrassed and shy, Bakugou noticed. He hated small talk, but what else could you engage in after not seeing one another for so long? He indulged it. But before he knew it, Kirishima was trying to leave and Bakugou hadn't even had the chance to ask him anything of importance.

"The fuck? Come grab something to eat with me dumbass, it's been five years." Bakugou demanded. He wasn't finished yet. To his relief, Kirishima agreed.

Now they sat in a bar, surrounded by people, again drowning in stupid, meaningless conversation. Kirishima happily spoke about his career, where he lived, but Bakugou noticed something. His smile, the smile that was etched in his brain like a tattoo, didn't seem genuine. He was too nervous, too unfocused. His voice cracked from time to time. Something was going through his mind that he did not want Bakugou privy to.

And then Bakugou thought he might explode. "Yeah, Kaminari and I live together." The rest of the words that came out of Kirishima's mouth after this fell on deaf ears. He was living with Kaminari. He went to the same agency as Kaminari. Bakugou couldn't control what spilled out now.

"So you stay friends with that idiot and cut me off life some piece of shit?"

"Excuse me?" Kirishima was gaping at him, as though he didn't have every fucking right to be pissed about this.

"You fucking heard me. You threw me in the garbage and yet you MOVE IN with the brain fried bastard? The fuck?" Kirishima tried to explain this away. His arrangement with Kaminari had just been Iconvenient/ he claimed, but that hadn't been Bakugou's point.

Now Kirishima was going on about how he needed to find his own path, but it was all over his face. This face had hardly changed during the time that passed. He had all the same tell tale signs when he was being dishonest and Bakugou noticed. He kept wringing his hands, failing to look at him, and his eyes betrayed something much deeper that he wouldn't divulge.

Bakugou was done with this bullshit. He was going to cut to the chase. He invited him to join his agency, he would worry about his boss's opinion later. As Kirishima desperately grabbed for more excuses to avoid the commitment he made five years ago, Bakugou lost it.

"Then when, huh? When are you going to finally stop this beating around the bush bullshit and tell me the damn truth!?"

But Kirishima had reached his limit. "I can't do this, Bakugou. I'm sorry."

Bakugou watched the flaming red hair leave the bar, and he wanted, with every ounce of his soul, to grab his arm, force him to stay and talk. He wasn't ready for another five years. He couldn't live this way anymore.

That's when he noticed Kirishima had left his phone on his chair. It must have fallen from his pocket without him realizing. It was covered in a red riot case with a phone charm of Kirishima in his hero costume dangling from it. And it gave Bakugou an idea...

He only had to wait a couple hours for the call to come so he could give Kirishima his ultimatum. "I'm only giving this back to you if you give me a fucking answer. The truth."

Bakugou took a quick shower, got out of his hero garb, and threw on something more comfortable before heading outside to wait. Kirishima almost walked into a telephone pole (he was completely zoned out) before Bakugou spoke to prevent it. "Took you long enough."

Kirishima fell back in surprise, hitting his head on the ground. Bakugou couldn't help but notice how cute he was rubbing the back of his head, clearly embarrassed, in a red riot sweatshirt. Wearing his own merchandise. It was just so fucking... Kirishima.

And then they were in his hotel room, drinking wine, because Kirishima was so fucking TENSE. Bakugou could see his muscles were practically frozen in a state of flex and his cheeks didn't seem capable of not being bright red. They spoke about hero work with intervals of silence while Kirishima finished another glass. Bakugou glanced at him through the corner of his eye. He was waiting. Who would be the one to bring it up?

Kirishima would. "I'm sorry..." and he explained. He explained how he had realize he had feelings for Bakugou. Feelings that were more than friendly. Was this even possible? Kirishima had felt the same way, at the same time as Bakugou? He didn't have time to dwell on this. Kirishima pushed on, tears started to stream down his face. Bakugou fought the urge to wipe them away.

Kirishima had been planning to tell Bakugou the truth about how he felt on graduation day. Damn, Bakugou had known something was weird about asking him to meet under those fucking cherry blossom trees. Maybe a small part of him had even hoped a confession was going to happen there. Now came the difficult part.

Scattered words of the final piece to the puzzle met Bakugou's ears. "...you said you needed to focus... I would only be a distraction... didn't want to hold you back... didn't want to be selfish... kills me every time I see you on the news... I should be happy for you... don't know if I ever will be..."

Bakugou's body was vibrating. He had never felt such a complete cluster fuck of emotions in his life. Kirishima felt the same way about him that he did about Kirishima; happiness. Something he had said, one fucking minor thing, had caused Kirishima to think he would only ever be a distraction; guilt. Kirishima had decided to leave him at the drop of a hat, without any thought or consideration for Bakugou's feelings or wants; anger. Five years had passed, both of them longing for the other, because both were blinded by a fear of standing in the other's way; devastation.

He needed to let some of these feelings out.

"You're right. You were fucking selfish. You could have told me the truth. You SAID you were going to the same agency as me. You were screaming into the phone, you were so excited we were going to be able to go TOGETHER. Then you just tell me on the LAST DAY that you've changed your mind. You don't tell me why. You don't consider for a fucking second how thinking we were going to the same place for weeks, and then having that fucking fall apart would make ME feel. "

Kirishima looked shocked. How could he not understand why Bakugou was so angry? Was it that unbelievable to him that Bakugou actually cared?

"Instead of telling me the whole truth, you just fucking decided my life for me. You didn't let ME decide what I wanted. That's what was selfish."

He couldn't sort through all of this right now. Not here, in front of Kirishima, who attempted to reach out and touch his shoulder. Bakugou batted his hand away. He didn't need his affection right now. He needed space.

"Just go, Kirishima. I can't fucking look at you right now."

'It's too painful to look at you right now.' He thought.

As Bakugou got up to lock himself away, he heard Kirishima's voice, almost pleading for him to stay, before he closed the door to his bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

The wine Kirishima had earlier was still buzzing in his veins. It may have taken affect even stronger in the ten minutes since he downed his second glass. Sitting here, on Bakugou's hotel room couch, was the emptiest Kirishima had ever felt. Finally letting the truth out should have felt more liberating. He expected relief, acceptance, something. Kaminari said he needed closure. That's what this was, right? Closure. Maybe closure wasn't supposed to feel good. Bakugou told him he couldn't even ifucking look at him/i. That was it. He had his answer.

But something else had been there too... And Kirishima wasn't sure what it was, but he knew it wasn't rejection. Bakugou was angry that Kirishima hadn't allowed him to make his own decisions, decide his own life. But what would he have decided, had Kirishima confessed on graduation day, under the alcove of cherry blossom branches?

"He told me to leave... I really need to just get over myself..." He mumbled, staring at his palms stretched out in front of him. He needed to accept this. He couldn't help looking around the room, wondering if there had ever been a possibility that his feelings would have been reciprocated that day. Would they be here, together, right now, in this room, cuddled, falling asleep? He thought about what it would be like to hold the strong, angry man shut behind the door. His thoughts were consumed with trying to imitate the feel of having the muscled arms wrapped around him. The feel of rough skin and hard chest had always been more appealing to him than the soft curve of a woman.

But even if Bakugou had feelings for him back then, there was no reason to assume he had any interest now. For all Kirishima knew, there was already someone else in his life. It really had been a long time. 'Damnit, get your head together.' Kirishima chided himself for his fantasies.

Bakugou had been so angry. He told him to leave, so why was he still sitting here? The look on Bakugou's face as Kirishima admitted why he parted ways with him was burned into the red head's brain. He was in so much pain, there was no question. The look had only been there for a moment, but Kirishima knew. His decisions had hurt him. Kaminari had been right, he fucked up.

It was now three in the morning. He should be at home, sleeping. iI can't fucking look at you right now/i played over and over in his conscious. Several more minutes passed quietly until Kirishima finally sighed and got up from the couch. He grabbed his empty glass, still sitting on the end table that had been nearest him. He shuffled to the spacious kitchen area and set the glass gently in the sink. There were no dirty dishes there. The counters were shining. Bakugou wasn't one for mess, he never had been. This obviously carried over to his hotel stays as well.

These strange little thoughts and memories of who Bakugou was, and how he hadn't changed, sent a feeling of knives and shards through his chest. His breaths came in sharp gasps. Was his heart literally shattering? It was done. Over. He had closure. "Maybe we could have been together... All this time..." He whispered, hating himself more than ever as the realization of just how much he fucked up fell upon him, over and over again like a hammer against a particularly stubborn nail.

But enough was enough. He was told to leave. He couldn't stay here forever. He knew that. He made his way to the exit of the hotel room, knowing it would likely be a very long time, if ever, until they met again. The wine was still humming through his brain, and he fumbled a little trying to open the door to leave. His hand hovered over the gold knob, shaking slightly. He had his closure.

That was when he realized he still hadn't grabbed his phone.

He turned back into the main living area and saw it, in its bright red case, shining from the TV stand. He grabbed it. It lit up to his touch and he noticed something he hadn't realized until now. He was amazed that he could have failed to remember something so important, so obvious, as he stared at the screen. The date stared back at him. Five years. Today was exactly five years since Kirishima had told Bakugou that he would be going to a different agency. Five years since the last time he had seen the angry red eyes in person. Five years he had been feeling his heart clench every time the name "Ground Zero" appeared anywhere.

And fuck. He refused to do another five. He shoved his phone in his pocket and stomped, with complete certainty, to the bedroom door.

"I don't really care if you hate me or explode my face off, I have to talk to you." He said while opening the door, which had, to his surprise, not been locked. Had Bakugou wanted him to come in?

"What?" The reply was dripping with irritation. Bakugou was sitting on the end of the king sized bed, his arms crossed in his lap, and his head laid in them. He didn't look up.

Kirishima stepped closer, wondering if he was pushing his luck. He sat next to Bakugou on the end of the bed, still giving him a few inches of space. "Just... tell me what you're thinking. Everything. Please."

Bakugou looked up this time. His face was difficult for Kirishima to take in. His expression was soft. Softer than the red head had ever seen it before. His eyes, however, looked broken and out of focus. Kirishima locked his pupils with Bakugou's. "What the fuck do you want from me?" Bakugou asked.

He took a deep breath. He needed to understand. He needed to know. That's what he wanted. "You said... I didn't let you decide your own future and I just... what would you have decided differently? What did you Imean/ be that?"

The characteristic scowl returned and Bakugou turned away, staring at a chair across the room. He wouldn't respond.

"Damnit, Bakugou. I get it. I fucked up. I should have been a man and told you the fucking truth and just let you tell me what was or wasn't a burden. Instead, I cut you off, tore myself up inside for half a decade, and apparently caused you a lot of pain too. I'm sorry. But you're the shitty haired dumbass if you think I'm just going to leave and never see you again. I walked away once and I'm not doing it this time. I don't care if you never had feelings for me. I'll be your friend again. I just can't live without hearing your voice."

The blonde's eyes grew wide and his mouth opened slightly. Yup, Kirishima had definitely crossed a line this time. He had never spoken to Bakugou this way before but it was so late, and he was so worn, he didn't have the patience for the run around and silence. He knew he was about to get pummeled into the ground, but he didn't care. God, why did he have to be so damn closed off?

"You're so fucking stupid." Bakugou was clenching his fists in his lap. "You think I never had feelings for you?"

Kirishima felt his stomach lurch and cheeks grow warm. This wasn't what he expected. It didn't excite him the way he would have thought. Instead, it felt... bittersweet. Knowing now that his feelings had been returned so long ago, and applying that knowledge to his giant screw up, made him want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Yeah, that sounded better than sitting here enduring anymore of the crimson stare.

"It fucking killed me too. You cut me off and I had no fucking clue why. I assumed I had done something to piss you off and that was it. The last five damn years I've spent my free time googling your stupid fucking hero name. Sometimes I get so fucking stuck in my own god damn head, playing back everything I could have done wrong, and everything I missed about your shitty face, that I want to scream. There hasn't been a single fucking day I didn't remember your stupid red hair, shit eating grin, and ridiculous teeth. I would have fucking ibeen/i with you. That's the decision I would have made." Bakugou stared angrily at Kirishima, daring him to question a word of what he said.

But Kirishima knew Bakugou didn't say things he didn't mean. He wouldn't question him. His throat was dry. His mouth didn't seem to want to work properly. "You would have been with me?" He barely choked out a whisper. "Why?" After all Kirishima had done to both him and Bakugou with his stupid, rash decision, he found it hard to see a single likable thing about him. Knowing that he had caused Bakugou the same hurt he felt every day, but that Bakugou had also been left confused and blaming himself... Kirishima had never thought so little of himself before.

"Why?" Bakugou looked incredulous. "You were the only person who ever fucking understood me and just accepted me the way I was. You didn't try to change me. When I pushed you away, you didn't care. You just.. fuck, you made life not suck so much."

Kirishima sniffed. The tears were welling up again. All he could focus on was what could have been, what they had lost. Their years could have been filled with each other. Flashes of possibilities swam in Kirishima's head, making him feel dizzy; moments on jobs together, grabbing lunch together, holding hands, cuddling on a couch, being wrapped up in each other's arms as they fell asleep... It had never occurred to him as a real, tangible outcome that his affections would be returned. That he would rob himself and Bakugou of some unknown happiness.

Kirishima loathed himself so fiercely, he wished he didn't have to live in this body anymore. Damn, why was he so stupid? His tears started tracing his jaw, falling so quickly that there would be no point in wiping them away. They felt hot falling from his chin and splashing against his clenched fists. His head was pounding, was it the wine? He felt the urge to curl into a ball on this hotel bed that wasn't his and sob.

So he did.

In his deep self hatred, arms wrapped around himself and knees pulled up to his chest, he had almost forgotten there was another person in the room. Because of this, when arms enveloped him, he was surprised. Another choked sob escaped him.

"Eijiro..." The typically cold voice was now thick with concern. Lost in his sadness, Kirishima didn't hesitate to turn his body, returning the hold, and he cried into Bakugou's chest. He didn't know how long they laid there like this, but his eyes felt sore and dry by the time they finally stopped the tears from streaming.

"I'm so sorry." His voice cracked and sounded thick. He had already apologized, but it wasn't enough. It never would be.

He was shocked when the strong hands of the blonde came up, gently tugged at his chin, which was still nuzzled into his chest, and forced their matching crimson eyes to lock. He probably looked terrible. He pictured his eyes red and puffy, face splotchy, and hair messed up. He wanted to look away in embarrassment. As he let his eyes drift to the side to avoid the intense gaze, lips met his and he thought his heart may very well stop.

It was soft, softer than he had ever imagined. For such an aggressive, explosive man, filled top to bottom with bulging muscles and self importance, how could he be so gentle? Kirishima closed his eyes, allowing the sensation to wash over him. Did this ever need to stop? One last tear fell and Bakugou broke the kiss. Their breaths mixed as they stared at one another, only an inch away from meeting their lips once again.

"I love you." He couldn't help it. It was the truth. He always had. The words fell out, independent of his own doing.

Bakugou turned a shade Kirishima was sure he had never seen on another human being before. Maroon, maybe? He chuckled a little. The sound felt foreign coming from his dry throat. The color in Bakugou's cheeks finally made some of the crushing weight he had been feeling all night lift from his chest. "What?" He asked, wondering why Bakugou looked so surprised and embarrassed.

"You don't know that."

"I do." He didn't hesitate.

Bakugou let out a strangled sigh and covered his face with his hands like he wanted to hide from the world. "Don't say shit like that. I mean, you don't know that Inow/I. Like, what if I've developed some annoying as shit habit?"

Kirishima laughed out loud, completely outside of his control. After the confession, the crying, the desperation, did he really still not get how deeply Kirishima's soul beat for him? It was just so ridiculous, Bakugou, with his intense, even off putting, personality thinking any habit he may have picked up would deter Kirishima's feelings. He was barely able to catch his breath enough to respond. "Like what? Do you have a ton of cats or something?"

"No I don't have a ton of cats! Fuck, I don't know. Maybe I snore really loud or talk to myself. Maybe I peel all the skin off of grapes before I eat them."

"Oh god, you're right, I could never love someone who does that." Kirishima stated sarcastically, still laughing so hard he was now holding his stomach. So ridiculous. Was he worried he would up changing his mind about loving him over something so stupid?

"I'm just SAYING, fuckstick. You don't know how much I might've changed after all this time. I don't know how you've changed, either. I'm being serious. A lot's happened.."

Bakugou's face was hard, but not unkind. "What iare/I you saying?" Kirishima's heart was throbbing again. Was Bakugou trying to tell him he didn't have feelings for him anymore after all these years? Why hadn't Kirishima just told him at graduation? Why was he so afraid, so damn unmanly? Was he about to say he wasn't interested? Why had he just kissed him? Was it out of pity? He was about to be told he had lost any chance, this was it. Damnit. Damnit, he had fucked up so much. His head was a vortex.

His face must've shown how terrified he was, because Bakugou's expression scrunched up into confusion, his brows coming together in a way that was just so... cute.

"Why do you look like your fucking dog just died? I'm saying we should..." He stopped, the dark blush creeped up on his face again. "Fuck, how do people say shit like this? I don't know. We could date or some shit. Get to know each other again. See if it works."

Now his heart had stopped completely. It must have been tired of going back and forth tonight, pounding to dying, pounding to dying.

"You're asking me out?" Kirishima whispered the question, hope bubbling inside him, threatening to spill over. This was really, actually happening.

"Agggghh, don't say it like that or I'll change my mind."

"Yes." Like he even had to consider it.

"Huh?"

Watching the confused, slightly blushing, and clearly relieved face react to the "Yes" was enough to give Kirishima courage he hadn't known he had before now. Maybe he could make a suggestion that would catch the explosive man off guard. "Let's date. We could start now. I mean, it's almost 4 in the morning, I can just stay over tonight, can't I?"

Bakugou smirked, just for a moment. "We've been dating for ten seconds and you already want to sleep in my bed? Control yourself, shitty hair. Fuck."

Kirishima pouted and poked at a loose strand from the blanket covering the bed. The hands that had consumed hours of his thoughts over the last five years found his chin again, calloused skin touching him so affectionately. His face was gently lifted to meet the eyes of the boy, no, the man, who he wanted to spend eternity with. He didn't care how Bakugou might have changed. Cats, weird eating habits, snoring, swearing, he wanted it all. He wanted to get to know him again, know everything about him. He wanted to change with him. Watch the seasons pass together. Their lips began to draw closer.

"We lost five years together, you know." Kirishima mumbled, still feeling a slight guilty pressure on his heart and a tear creeping to the corner of his eye. The flashes of possibility, what might have been, found their way into his brain every time he closed his eyes.

"Then I guess we have a lot to make up for."

And that's exactly what they did.


End file.
